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  • 每日原则:保持开放心态,同时也要坚定果断

    • 每日原则:保持开放心态,同时也要坚定果断

    有效解决理性的分歧,需要开放的心态(换位思考)和坚定果断(明确阐释自己的看法),并能够灵活地处理此类信息以促进学习和适应。


    我发现大多数人不能既坚定果断同时又心态开放。比较典型的是,他们更加坚定果断,没那么心态开放(因为相比换位思考而言,把自己的观点表达出来更容易一些,也因为人往往固执己见),而有些人则太愿意接受别人的观点,而失了自己的观点。提醒人们要两者兼顾是很重要的,并记住决策是个两步走的程序,必须先搜集信息,再做决定。还值得提醒的是,那些能改变自身主张的人是最大的赢家,因为他们有所获益。而那些顽固不化、拒绝事实的人会是失败者。经过实践、培训和不断强化,任何人都可以在这方面做得很好。


    Being effective at thoughtful disagreement requires one to be open-minded (seeing things through the other’s eyes) and assertive (communicating clearly how things look through your eyes) and to flexibly process this information to create learning and adaptation.


    I have found that most people have problems being assertive and open-minded at the same time. Typically they are more inclined to be assertive than open-minded (because it’s easier to convey how they see things than to understand how others do, and also because people tend to have ego attachments to being right) though some people are too willing to accept others’ views at the expense of their own. It’s important to remind people that they have to do both—and to remember that decision making is a two-step process in which one has to take in information as well as decide. It also helps to remind people that those who change their minds are the biggest winners because they learned something, whereas those who stubbornly refuse to see the truth are losers. With practice, training, and constant reinforcement, anyone can get good at this.


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